No One Wants to Bag Leaves Alone: The Vital Role Wives Play in Support Raising

By on August 1, 2017   /   1 Comment

Each year hundreds, if not thousands, of leaves fall from the many trees in our front yard until the leaves form a blanket so deep you can no longer see the grass. To rake and bag them all is a daunting and lengthy process.

When my husband puts on his outdoor clothes and pulls out the rake, big trash can, and extra-large trash bags, I know he is going to dive into this leaf bagging chore. At that moment I have a choice to make. I can think, “Well, the inside of the house is kind of my domain (laundry, vacuuming) and the yard is his deal so he can do it.” Or, I can choose to stop what I am doing, put on my old tennis shoes, and join him in this carpet-of-leaves task.

Do I WANT to bag leaves? No. Do I feel like giving up multiple hours of my time bagging the blanket of leaves that has taken over our yard? No. Do I have excuses? Oh yes! “Can’t we just hire someone to do this?” But the bottom line is bagging the tons of leaves that fall each year on our front lawn is ALWAYS easier when you have a helper. I know this, so out I go—focused. “Let’s get this done!”

In the same way, raising support is always a better journey when the helper comes along! Genesis 2:18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

As a Ministry Partner Development (MPD) Coach with Cru for nine years, I have seen couples flourish in the support journey when the wife is actively engaged, and I have also seen the support journey putter along and at times completely stall out because of the wife’s disengagement or disinterest in MPD.

When wives embrace the vital role they play in MPD the results are FLOORING! Morale is high for both, both share in the joy of answered prayer for new support, and the rate at which support comes in is by far faster when both spouses are involved! What does it look like practically for the wife to be actively engaged in the support raising journey?

A few years ago, Nancy Dickens of Cru and I wrote a publication called It Takes Two that addresses four key areas that a wife can begin to think through and engage in:


Doing administrative tasks that the husband might feel are time drains. These could be done during a small child’s nap. Examples are: thank you notes, database updates, newsletters, etc.


Staying connected with your current partners. Examples are: calling supporters and asking how you can be praying for them, ‘liking’ their facebook posts, sending gifts and sympathy cards. Even an hour a week after the kids have gone to bed could really move the needle forward on this.

Support Raising

Getting face to face with people and presenting your ministry! Examples are: setting up appointments with your friends from playgroups, church Bible studies, PTA, meeting a friend for a support appointment. One mom I know raised over $1,000 in new monthly support by contacting her college sorority sisters after 20 years!

Emotional support

Verbalizing support is one of the biggest game changers in the support raising season. Examples are: “I believe in you. I am in this with you and I appreciate all you do to provide for us. I am praying for you!”

Wives play a vital role in support raising. If you are a wife consider starting small, perhaps with just one of these areas and see the difference you can make in the support process as you become a helper and comrade in the trenches on MPD.

My husband could bag the piles of leaves by himself each fall, but it would take him MUCH longer and frankly the task is no fun to do alone. It is a much easier (and quicker) chore when I stand there, as his helper, holding the trash bag open. No one wants to bag leaves alone.


Note from SRS regarding supporting husbands:

SRS has received some great emails in response to this article from couples whose wives may be the one in a ministry role and thus has the primary responsibility for raising support. We understand this, as some of our own staff reflect this reality. The same needs of teamwork and encouragement also apply to a supporting husband. Lori has addressed a great issue that many husbands and wives face, and that’s why SRS encourages all couples (regardless of whose primary task it is) to receive the same training in support raising, read the same books on the topic, and go through the bible studies together. The ministry of support raising can affect us personally, emotionally, and spiritually so much that we believe it should be a united effort even if your spouse doesn’t work at all in any other area of the ministry. Satan will surely attack you during the low seasons of support raising, and as you face spiritual warfare and lean into God’s Word and His promises, you need your spouse to be on the same page, equipped with the same biblical truths regarding support raising, as you face this battle together.


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