A Support-Raising Husband: The Top Five Commitments

By on January 1, 2013   /   Leave a comment

I recently took all of our male staff through Dennis Rainey’s excellent book Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood. A few days later, I was sitting across from a 17 year-old high school guy who wanted to take my daughter to prom. After sharing a few thoughts from Rainey’s book, I asked his definition of a man. He paused for a moment, looked me in the eye, and said, “I think a boy becomes a man when he takes full responsibility before God for his life.” He then added, “What do you think?” I was so stunned, I began stuttering and stammering, and finally only offered, “Yeah, that’s good. I, uhhh, don’t think I could improve on your definition.” Needless to say, I gave him permission to escort my daughter!

Taking full responsibility…before God. What does that mean to you? Paul addressed Christian husbands and fathers, teaching us that if a man does not provide for his own family “he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Our heavenly Father has some sturdy standards for us, men. And if we don’t rise to the occasion and embrace them—it proves we’re not real followers of Christ. Let’s “man up” and discover together what the Lord expects of us:

1. Meet God face to face 
The place to always begin is to “fix my eyes on Jesus.” Standing before God, I hold my palms out to the Lord and proclaim, “Father, I take complete responsibility for the family you have given me. No excuses. No disclaimers. It’s You…and me Lord. Period.”

2. Make an unbreakable oath to your wife 
We men seem to gravitate toward the bare essentials, but God has created women with a nurturing, nesting instinct where they need stability and protection. Financial guru Dave Ramsey asks, “Has your wife’s ‘financial security gland’ been met?” Have you raised enough support to calm her fears and stresses? Look deep into her eyes and assure her that you, and no one else, accept total, lifelong responsibility to provide for her. Her respect for you will shoot through the roof.

3. Nurture the flock given to you
To the degree our children can trust their earthly father to provide for them is to the degree they usually trust their Heavenly Father to do so. What other model do they have? Their future view of God, ministry, money, and support raising will hinge on your perspective and practice. Is yours healthy? Men, if God has entrusted children to us, our assignment now is to do whatever is necessary to provide for them.

4. Model a vision-driven life to your co-workers 
As other staff see this unrelenting pledge you have made to God, your wife, and family, it will inspire them. As you strive to maximize the fruitfulness of your family and ministry, they’ll observe your commitment to be vision-driven instead of budget driven. You’re no longer trying to figure how to finagle raising as little as possible. No more obsessions with saving pennies and clipping coupons. You’ve now lifted your sights to how much you need to raise to fully fund and equip your family and ministry to win this worldwide spiritual battle the Lord has placed you in.

You will never ever back away from providing a full paycheck for your family.

5. Devote a lifetime to being fully funded
The word devotion means “an unswerving adherence to.” You will never ever back away from providing a full paycheck for your family. You under no circumstance go below 100% funding. You always have a buffer in your account. Having the funds to reimburse every legitimate ministry expense is a given.


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